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Bryan Newell's Moosism Page

Like all good stories, this one starts long ago, in a land far far away...

Moosism by Bryan Newell

There are literally billions of possible views of reality. I've considered a handful or two of them, and noticed a strong pattern: almost all models of reality are defined by a strict set of rules. The model of reality I am most at ease with is science, with its consistency and lack of self-importance.

There is one fundamental question that I think can really help clarify any model of reality. Consider the following hypothetical question: Are the rules that define any given reality strict, consistent, and universal? Or are there no such rigid rules?

My cousin Steven Hoke once theorized that it was possible (but, in his mind, highly unlikely) that he and his world were merely the product of a deranged moose's imagination. To honor such a wonderful theory, I have taken to referring to the nonsensical universe that lacks strict, universal rules as a Moosist universe, and belief in such a thing as Moosism.

The universe with strict, absolute rules I'll refer to as the Logical universe. For now, avoid associating Logic with any given set of rules. All I mean by logical is that there are rules and they are absolute, universal and inviolate.

Let's suppose that in each universe, the most powerful entity of all is God. I'm not advocating any belief in God, or disbelief, for that matter. I guess I would describe myself as an agnostic leaning towards atheism. I have no reason to believe there is a God, but when you get right down to it, I simply do not know. But considering such a hypothetical God and His/Her/Their nature will, I believe, facilitate understanding of the difference between Moosism and Logic. The Logical God we'll call Logos, and the Moosist God we'll call, appropriately enough, Moose.

Logos cannot do the impossible. The rules of the universe within which She exists limit Her powers. Certainly, She is THE most powerful entity in the Universe, but there remain things She simply cannot do. Since our definition of a logical universe is so generic, I cannot give precise examples, but suffice to say, Logos could not violate the laws of Her universe (if She could, her universe would be Moosist and not Logical.)

Moose, on the other hand, is not limited in any shape or form. Moose's powers are downright boggling. As my friend Jarrod Hiner pointed out, Moose "could molest your dog, even if you didn't have one." Indeed, Moose could exist and not exist. He could do everything possible (including nothing at all) in the same instant. There is no such thing as impossible, for there are no inviolate rules. As such, in effect there are no rules at all. Anything and nothing is possible. Cause and effect? Toss that right out the window! You could think you exist, but not. All the things we refer to as "nonsense" and "paradoxical" would be quite possible in Moose's universe. Moosism does not neccessarily imply chaos, either. In a Moosist universe, everything could operate in a strictly logical fashion. Quite literally, anything is possible, from mundane to incomprehensible.

Here is where the problem arises: I cannot be certain that I exist in a Logical universe. I certainly believe I do, but there is no way to test and see. If my universe is indeed Moosist, how could I possibly tell? I could perform an experiment whose results have nothing whatsoever to do with the experiment itself.

Now, you might be saying, "of course, but if you posit such a thing, then that's that, you can never know anything." Well, I look at it a slightly different way: My first postulate of reality, the one that everything else I believe is built on, is that I do NOT exist in a Moosist universe. I might; I really can't rule out the possibility. But in a Moosist Universe there are no rules, there is no guarantee of strict causality. I can neither trust the past nor predict the future, nor even know if I exist! Since I cannot, so far as I can tell, posit with any certainty whether my Universe, my Reality, is Moosist or Logical, then all I have to go on is faith. I cast my faith on the side of Logic and reject any and all Moosism.

This becomes the most basic test of reality I can then use: a Logical universe, such as the one I have cast my vote for, is only compatible with Logical theories. If a theory has even the slightest trace of Moosism, then I toss it right out. If the theory works in a Logical fashion, but is not in agreement with the rules of my model of reality, then perhaps some tinkering is needed on my model. But a Moosist theory is useless to me.

Moosism gets me nowhere. But the possibility that it might be, a possiblity I cannot rule out, means that I can never Know in any sort of absolute way anything at all. Not even Descartes' famous "I think therefore I am". That is only true in a Logical universe. In a Moosist one, of course, the impossible is quite possible, there is no relationship between action and effect, and thus I could think but fail to exist at all.